Little Red's Blast 'Em Blog
by MizuneMinamiki
Summary: 'Lil Red' just wants something interesting to do with her time in the VocaMansion. So...what better to do than start up a gossip blog about her friends? They don't know who she is, so exposing her isn't something that'll happen so easily... [RinLen, KaiMiku, GakuLuka, NeruMikuo, and basically all of the mainstream couples at some point.]
1. Chapter 1

_**This story will probably crash and burn. I have no idea where I'm gonna go with it. It's one that'll only be fueled on suggestions. XD**_

_**I suppose I should send credit to the things that gave me this idea.**_

_**1) There's a Facebook page called "Let's Put 'Em on Blast Network." I don't necessarily agree with it – they post stories and rumors about people, either by request or because the people tried to report the page. I think it's still up, actually. This one girl I know got a story about her written…**_

_**2) I wrote it in Blog style because of polomints63, who has a story called [Orange Lover] that you should check out if you haven't already. I thought that doing it like a blog wasn't too common, so…heh. I'm not trying to copy you, but if you feel it's too similar, I'll remove it, m'kay?(:**_

_**Please Enjoy~! **_

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**Little Red's Blast 'Em Blog**

_UGHHHH! Life is so boring! You'd think that, living in the Vocaloid mansion, there would be lots of fun stuff going on. Nope. Well…yea, but it's the same thing EVERY SINGLE DAY. Kaito loses his ice cream and throws a fit, or Tako Luka tries to eat someone's face off. I really want some spice in my life, but I haven't found anyone who can give that to me yet._

_Okay…Not like that._

_By 'spice', I mean that I want something interesting to happen. Something unexpected. Something wild._

_So I'm starting this blog. I shall simply go as the name 'Lil Red', for reasons that I shan't be explaining, because there's no doubt that the others in the mansion will find this blog not twenty minutes after I start it. They'll probably kill me. Well, if they know who 'me' is. Muahaha!_

_Ahem…so anyway. I've decided what I'll be doing to make things interesting. Most fans want to know what we Vocaloids do in our spare time, yes? I think I'll be spilling some of my friends' secrets for the sheer pleasure of letting the fans go wild over knowing the crazy things about them. For instance, did you know that Len has a banana squeaky toy? Who would've thought? That boy is like a dog. And when he takes a bath, you can just hear him squeaking it. Seriously, it's like he's five._

_Mmmm….well that's just the beginning. There are so many other dark things I can tell you. Some people think Len is loyal to Rin…do you have any idea how many girls he screws when she's not around? Don't you just wish you could be clued in to the behind-the-scenes drama that the tabloids don't cover?_

_Ahh, I bet you do._

_I'm going for now. But, please leave a comment and tell me who you think I should spy on. And please, give me someone good. Make my life a bit more interesting. _

~LilRed

**0 Comments**

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_**Well, you heard Lil Red. Tell her who to spy on! Or maybe…what she can catch them doing. But please, keep it T rated.**_

_**Who is Little Red, anyway?;)**_

_**(:Mizune**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**PLEASE READ**_

_**I've decided something. After this author's note, there will be no more unless something comes up. From now on, Little Red is the one who will be responding to your reviews and such. So, please enjoy! Any complaints on the story? Either shoot me a PM and get a nice response, or review it and get something sassy from Little Red. Hey, she's gotta stay in character. ;) So remember, when you review, from this point out, you're talking to Little Red. Not me.**_

_**Thanks sooo much for the reviews and stuff, guys! Sorry that I suck at humor – for the most part.**_

_**Suggestions that are given may not take place immediately, but they probably will at some point. I apologize if I'm disappointing people in this story… **_

_**I updated so quickly because I got bored working on my other stories and thought, "Let's Blast some people!"**_

_**(:Mizune**_

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**Little Red's Blast 'Em Blog**

_Damn. You have no idea what kind of hell I had to go through right after my first blog post! The cyber-stalker Neru found it, like, immediately, and the WHOLE Vocaloid household started going INSANE. They called a meeting for all of us – and I mean ALL of us: Vocaloids, UTAUloids, fanmades, derivatives, utaites, EVERYONE! It was hysterical; you really should've seen it. _

_Chaos._

_Utter chaos._

_Kiyoteru suggested that Neru trace the blog back to the computer that started it, but…I'M GOOD WITH COMPUTERS, TOO! In your face, Neru! You think you know it all, but really, you don't. Heh. They'll never be able to get to me. I'm right here, forever and always, to spill the deepest, darkest secrets of the Vocaloids around me. No matter how often they gather us in a single room and scream at us in an attempt to find the culprit…I won't be found. ;D_

_I suppose to begin, I should tell you how that meeting went. I was just chillin' in my room when Meiko starts screeching like the drunkard she is, telling everyone to "get their sorry asses in the living room." Of course, most of us scrambled down there as fast as we could, because it's not very smart to disobey Meiko – especially not when she's drunk._

_And once everyone had gathered, Neru took the liberty to read my blog post out loud for all of them to hear! I felt so honored! Everyone totally agreed with me on saying that Tako Luka tried to eat someone's face off every day, because just last week, that adorable pink octopus latched herself onto Miku's face and wouldn't let go. Ahhh…if only I had pictures. _

_When they got to the part about Len and his squeaky toy, oh, that blond shota was so embarrassed. His face must've been the color of Meiko's outfit. And everyone started poking fun at him about that. Oh, he'll never hear the end of it._

_So Kiyoteru told Neru to trace it, and that blonde whore is just all, "Oh, yea! I can trace it, no trouble at all! Because I'm 'Little Miss Perfect'; let me give you another reason to think so!" Guess what? She did her little tracing magic, and what popped up on her phone screen? "LOCATION NOT FOUND." Oh, and she got a virus. Heh…now she has to get a new phone. _

_Poor Neru…_

_NOT!_

_Anyways, I actually got some comments on this! Hooray for me, LilRed! Let's take a brief moment and thank all of these people who were kind enough to do so…._

_Now, as the first person (Warrichan) suggested, I decided to do a little Gumi-stalking. What does everyone know about her as of now? She's got green hair and freak goggles, and for some reason the first thing that comes to mind when I see her in her usual outfit is Sailor Moon. I don't know what it is…And she has a strange obsession with carrots. Like Miku with leeks, or Kuroneko with Tapioca. _

_So, like I said, I decided to watch her a little bit more closely. Get this. She's a totally normal girl, compared to the rest of us! (Well, the rest of them…) I mean, minus her…carrot fetish and the fact that she's sexually attracted to her genderbend. Don't know if that would count as incest or…some other thing that I'm uncomfortable saying? Over three days of observation, I found that Gumi wakes up at precisely 8:13 every morning, and turns in for bed around 10:30, except on weekends, which I just know from experience that she spends with a group of Vocaloid girls to watch movies all night or something. _

_BUT THEN last night, I was about to disable the camera I had mounted in the hallway to get a clear view of her bedroom door when I saw…_

_KAITO! _

_Seriously, I was sitting at my computer and that blue-haired freak just comes into the shot. To be honest, I figured he'd be going to Miku – he _is_ dating her, after all. But I was wrong. He walked up to Gumi's room and walked in. HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOCK! He just waltzed in like he owned the place! Well, when he opened the door, this big, naughty smile spread on his face, like Len when he filmed Spice! And he just walked in! Like she was expecting him!_

_I watched my cameras, and he stayed in that room with her for exactly two hours and nineteen minutes. _What_ were they doing in there? That's my only question. My camera doesn't really have sound, so I couldn't hear if they were banging each other. They probably were, though. Then…they could've been quiet. He could've always smothered her with a pillow or hell, he could've pinned her down. _

_Seriously, do you guys know how horny the boys in this place are? Even the ones you think are innocent…hell, they're less innocent than Gakupo! And we all know that to him, sex is sex, whether it's with Len or Luka._

_Just kidding; I don't know if he gets down with Len, but I _have_ seen the yaoi pictures he looks at. *shudders* Betcha Len will never look at Gakupo the same way now._

_So yea, nothing too interesting with that Gumi thing. But I can promise you that I'll keep tabs on her for a little while longer. Just to see if Kaito is, in fact, having an affair on his girlfriend._

_Oh wait. Aren't affairs supposed to be secret?_

_Hmm….well, now the WHOLE WORLD knows that you guys are cheating! Ohohoho, get out of this one, bakas!_

_And Rosie-Sama wanted me to do some Mikuo stalking. Phone stalking, to be exact. So what did I do? I put a bug on his phone. _

_Seriously, he's terrified of insects. It was hysterical; he was, like, screaming like a twelve-year-old girl throwing a temper tantrum. He threw his phone down and started begging Rin to kill it. So she did. _

_With a roadroller._

_IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY, KAGAMINE!? IT WAS A FREAKING ANT! NOT GODZILLA! _

_Hell, she could've killed all of Tokyo with that stupid roadroller thing of hers. I'm surprised she didn't end up killing Mikuo himself._

_Oh, right. I was talking about Mikuo. Sorry; I got a little carried away with my rant on Rin and her Yandere attitude. I'm pretty sure she fakes it to make people pay attention to her. She's almost as bad as Miku._

_Anyway, Mikuo. I started recording his phone conversations. Most of which he makes to Miku and they talk about leeks or something like that. But he made a call to Rinto once._

_(The genderbends are pretty tight-knit friends.)_

_Rinto started asking him about his relationships, but Mikuo said there was one girl he really liked but couldn't see because she's not a Vocaloid. ARE YOU READING THIS, NERU!? HE'S CHEATING ON YOU! Can't say I blame him…_

_What?_

_Mikuo was all, "She's so funny! And so random! And I love her to death because she throws me leeks and her sarcasm is so attractive and the way she laughs is like heaven and-"_

_And Rinto was all like, "Mikuo, you can't breed with people outside of the Vocaloid mansion."_

_And Mikuo was all, "Breed? I'm not a dog!"_

_And then Rinto goes, "Well, you said she throws you leeks. Like, fetch?"_

_So Mikuo gets all defensive like, "I'M NOT A DOG, DAMMIT!"_

_And they hung up because someone started pounding on Rinto's door wanting to talk to him. It was probably Lenka. But I'm not gonna 'Blast' her, because she's really sweet. I like her. _

_Not as a girlfriend, though. I'm totally, one-hundred percent straight. In fact, there's this one guy – _

_Oh, no! Lil Red's spilling a little bit too much information about herself. _

_So, Rosie-Sama, there's your secret info on Mikuo. By the way, you shouldn't know who I am, so I'm really glad you can't tell;) The link in your review didn't work. I could only see the www. .com part. Maybe separate the link with little ~ or spaces or something? _

_Next up! Shadowthorn2013 told me to spy on one of my favorite guys. I'm a sucker for shotas, too! They're pretty sexy, aren't they? I mean, adorable. Adorable, aren't they? Heh…I mean, they've all got things that make them so lovable! Like Oliver with those bandages or Len with his…everything._

_And about Piko. _

_Trust me, Shadow, I don't have to do any extra spying to know this embarrassing stuff about him. (Yes, I spy on him regularly. He's a pretty interesting guy.)_

_Just the other day I was sitting in the kitchen. (We were having this pretty sweet party for Miku, since her newest single sky-rocketed into popularity.) So as I said, I was in the kitchen, right? Just chilling at the bar, drinking my water, and then Piko walks in. You know, in a gang. A SHOTA gang. Len on one side, Oliver on the other. And let me tell you, Len and Oliver were as freaking attractive as ever, swinging their arms back and forth while having these totally-sexy smirks on their faces. Now, I'm not saying Piko wasn't pulling off the tough guy look._

_Okay, I'm saying that._

_Well, he could've pulled it off, had he not tripped over his USB cord. SERIOUSLY! The guy's had that thing coming out of his ass for how many years, and he finds a way to trip over it! It's like him walking into doors that are so PLAINLY in front of his face! _

_Not only did Piko trip, but he also managed to fall face first into the bowl of red punch sitting on the counter. So he collapses onto the ground in a puddle of red that stained his hair, and the bowl shatters on the ground. Is that not hysterical? No? Maybe it's only funny to people who were there. _

_I dunno. I know that sometimes we do really stupid things, and other times, we do, but we don't mean to. You follow me? _

_More about Piko: I snuck into his room a couple of nights ago to get some dirt on him…._

_You know, most three-year-olds sleep in footsies with dinosaurs on them._

_Not very many sixteen-year-old boys sleep in footsies with little USBs on them. _

_Well, I gotta go. It's getting kinda late, and I'm tired of typing all of this stuff. But I'll be sure to continue spying on Gumi and Piko and Kaito and Mikuo for ya guys. ;) I'm sure there will be some pretty interesting stuff going down now that I've told all of this. _

_~LilRed_

**13 comments**

**SexyShota: **Why the hell do you insist on telling people about my squeaky toy?

**RinnyRinRin: (reply to SexyShota) **You could've easily denied that, you moron. But now that you've left a comment, the whole world can see that it's the truth. Can't say that I'm sorry for you, though.;D

**SexyShota: (reply to RinnyRinRin) **Bitch.

**CellphoneWiz: **I DO NOT THINK I'M LITTLE MISS PERFECT! COME OUT, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE! AND MIKUO WOULDN'T CHEAT ON ME WITH SOME CHICK WHO'S NOT A VOCALOID! LOL, YOU'RE DEAD, LITTLE RED BITCH!

**Leekprincessmiku: **Kaito's cheating on me? Oh, this should be fun. *loads gun*

**SexyShota: (reply to SexyShota) **Oh, by the way. I think Little Red is Rin.

**RinnyRinRin: (reply to SexyShota) **DO I LOOK LITTLE AND RED TO YOU?

**CellphoneWiz: (reply to RinnyRinRin) **Well, you are little.

**RinnyRinRin: (reply to CellphoneWiz) **What motive would I have for telling the world about you guys? And why the hell would I call myself Little Red?

**LilRed: (in reply to RinnyRinRin) **You sang about little red riding hood.

**Jusdrinkinsumsake: (reply to LilRed) **I think it is Rin. LilRed's replying to make it look like it's not.

**RinnyRinRin: (in reply to Jusdrinkinsumsake) **IT'S NOT ME!

**MeNmyUSB: **WHYYYYYY?D:


	3. Chapter 3

**Little Red's Blast 'Em Blog**

_Haaaa!X3 Everyone just made this assumption that I was Rin, simply because that little blonde wanna-be sang __**Little Red**__ Riding Hood. Ahh, that short freak girl WISHES she was as cool as me. But she's not. And she never will be. MUAHAHAH! My evil laugh is so sexy! _

_So after they ASSUMED it was Rin, they decided to go 'make her pay.' And next thing I know, the whole house is just filled with these blood-curdling screams. Why? Meiko, Len, Neru, Miku, Kaito (oh…ESPECIALLY Kaito, after revealing his secret relationship with Gumi), Mikuo, Oliver, even PIKO! (Since when does THAT little shota get violent?) They ALL went up to Rin's room and just started beating the living crap out of her. _

_Okay, not literally, I suppose. They took her laptop and started busting it to pieces trying to find out what she was using to hide her location – and to prevent her from making any more updates. And Len and Meiko attacked her without thinking twice. When she left the room, her hair was a complete mess – looked like a couple of handfuls had been pulled out - and she had this bruise on her cheek. She was panicking and crying – THAT'S RIGHT! THE GREAT RINNY WAS CRYING! – and insisting that it wasn't her over and over and over again. And aw, I almost felt sorry for the poor girl._

_ALMOST._

_This is what happens when those other idiots try to guess me._

_NYA BITCHES! LIL RED IS NOT A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!_

_So I was given a whole FUZZLOAD of people to spy on and stuff – and I'll tell you, even though I'm a sheer freaking GENIUS at this stuff, it's no easy task. Everyone's all 'spy on Mikuo! Spy on Teto! Spy on Rinto! Spy on blah blah blah…!' Yea, not that I have a problem with it…it's just…physically exhausting. I mean, I know I complained about being bored and stuff, but damn, I have _somewhat_ of a life. I hang out with friends every once and a while, and we tend to do stuff together – and hell yes, my innocent personality makes NO ONE think it's ME! Muahah! Face it! EVERYONE acts different in private than in public! My actions are JUSTIFIED!_

…_I'm rambling like an evil scientist now, aren't I? *clears throat* Please excuse me; the thought of people being tortured because of wrong accusations of my personality makes me laugh._

_Anyways, I think our favorite little Mikuo-lover is up first! Rosie-chan, you are loved by both myself and Mizune – who has no power in this blog because she's letting ME take the lead MUAHAHA! She is not to be blamed for any hateful things I may or may not say…because…I'm ME, not Mizune. Mizune's sweet, and I like to BASH PEOPLE! (Of course, I won't be bashing my lovely reviewers.)_

_Rosie-chan, Mikuo is just your little puppy, isn't he? I should buy him a collar for his birthday – completely with tags and everything. So maybe if Rinto sees it, he'll be all, "Oh, Mikuo's a lost dog; let's mail him back to England to his owner!" And of course, Mikuo can't protest because of this extra-special shock feature! Just press a little button, and that cute little teal-haired boy gets a pretty rough zap that he won't be forgetting anytime soon…_

_Oh my God, we must invent this product, Rosie-chan. I forget birthdays all the time. When is Mikuo's? I think I've gotta give this to him, as a gift to both of you. You for reviewing, and him for…well, being a jerk._

_Yup, that sounds about right._

_(By the way, of course I ignored your guess. I can't tell you whether or not you're right, silly! Mizune can, through PM, but if I spoil it here, then all the others will know who I am, and my cover will be blown….and they'll not only destroy me, but also my awesome blog. Depressing, isn't it?)_

_Anyways, thanks for your review~! I'll be moving on to others now, if you don't mind. And maybe when requests die down, I can just kind of rant about the lives of random Vocaloids….I dunno._

_NEXT: We have BattyCrash! Thank you, thank you. *bows* I greatly appreciate your support; like, you have no idea! _

_And you'd like me to spy on that __**little red **__demon Teto, eh? You're heart's desire is my command! (But only in the art of stalking. I'm no genie.)_

_So._

_Teto Kasane._

_Kasane Teto._

_Teto._

_The reddish-pink haired FREAK! I mean seriously, I know some of these guys can make their hair get so dang weird, but what's with her hairstyle? That….must take LOTS of hairspray. She'll put a whole right through the damn ozone layer if she keeps trying to look pretty. And by the way, Teto, your drills DO NOT make you look good. You look like an idiot. Almost as much of an idiot as Oliver with that stupid Captain's hat he wears that he think makes him look cool._

_I mean, come on. As adorable and sweet as he can be, that Captain No Shoes will not look better by putting on a hat and carrying around a little finch. A REAL SAILOR would have a parrot._

_Wait, that's a pirate._

_Oliver could pull that off, too. I mean, a missing eye and no shoes. It already fits._

_Ahh…I really need to work on my blog-pacing, guys. I ramble too much for this. Okay, okay. I have an idea. I'll respond to you all first and THEN go on with the stalking requests. Yes, yes? Sounds good? Great, I'm doing it anyway._

_((Ack, Lil Red, you sad, pathetic excuse for a blogger! $ %# I need to find the reviews to reply to!))_

_Okay, since I've already replied to _**BattyCrash **_and __**Rosie-Chan**__, I'll be replying to the others. _

**Responses to my amazing Lil Red Supporters**

**Ninjagoforever1: **_Apparently Rin's the kind of girl who overreacts about bugs, my friend. She really needs to invest in a brain. I appreciate your support! I'll definitely give you some insight on Rin's pathetic existence. (Excuse my evilness…)_

**ZameZelder: **_It's a blog, my friend. Of course I can stalk that idiot Rinto for ya! He's a pretty great guy, but I'm sure even he has his fails. (Oh, I'll tell you more about that later.) Ooooh, even though you don't know who I am to send me a bunch of ********, I know that it's the thought that counts! _

**CandyFiend: **_I know! Piko is like my little snow-baby! Oh yes, I'll spy on Teto for you….(In case you can't tell, I'm smiling like an evil scientist right now. Man, I really need to get myself a lab coat and some glasses. I should steal the glasses from Kiyoteru. His are pretty stylish.)_

**TeamKagamine: **_Thanks! Oh, Len? Well he's pretty easy to read. He cheats on Rin with everybody. Ask anyone. You've seen Spice, right? …Yea, he's just as uncontrollable in real life as he was in that video. (I can practically HEAR Rin in the other room smacking him right now.)_

**CaramellYandere: **_Mizune thanks you, but you're talking to me. *dark laugh* As I told Rosie-chan, Mizune will answer your guesses in a PM – if you come to her first. Tei, huh? That demon? Well…I'm pretty scared of her myself. I'm so not sure what I can say on the matter; when she finds out who I am – I mean, IF she finds out – I'LL BE AS GOOD AS DEAD! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!_

**NeaLureKamui: **_Well, haaaaaayooo~ Great to meet you! Luki? Sure thing. He's usually out with the other genderbend boys, so I bugged his jacket. Huehuehuehue…I can't wait to let you know of THAT conversation._

**PokeCrafter: **_Oliver IS quite the sexy beast, I agree with you there. I'll give you an extra special segment with Oliver, then. _

_Alright guys, it has been decided. I've officially figured out how I want to do my blog style from this point on: . See that little dot? That's my point…I'd go back and fix the rest of this, but unfortunately, I'm pretty lazy. _

_**Kasane Teto.**_

_**(I'd have never guessed.)**_

_You all know Teto. _

_She has an unhealthy obsession with that French bread stuff._

_(Though I can understand, because I've tried it, and it's pretty tasty.)_

_She's in a relationship with Ted._

_They act lovey dovey together all the time._

_She wears her hair in those big, totally fake drills._

_BUT SHE'S A GREAT BIG FAKE._

_With a little bit of record-browsing, I've managed to discover that she is actually a 31 year old TRAP. The girl looks 16 and acts 16 but she's OLD. No one would've ever guessed. _

_I always thought Ted looked pretty...old…for his age, but I'm willing to bet that he's the same as she. A 31-year-old FAKE. Actually, he might be the kind to tell you the truth if you were to ask, but Teto? Nope. _

_Sorry that this wasn't more juicy. I mean, hell, some of you probably already knew this stuff if you browse her records, too. But I'll be getting some good dirt on her. _

_One day._

_They won't always do something amusing the first time you film them, I suppose. _

_That's exactly why I'm not going into detail._

_Because it was just a bunch of dry crap that makes no sense. Work out, paint nails, work out, do make up, work out, wrestle hair, work out, see Ted, work out, eat French bread._

_I guess she tries too hard to keep up her figure. I suppose that happens when you're 31 and posing as 16._

_**Megurine Luki.**_

_**And Rinto.**_

_**(This fool….)**_

_So, like I said, he tends to go out with the genderbent guys every once and while, right? That means Rinto, Mikuo, and Meito. _

_Well, I was careful to put a bug WITHIN his jacket – the pink one he's always wearing, because it matches his 'manly hair,' as he'll put it. And not only did I have audio from their conversations, but I also had a GPS tracker. These boys….ohohoho. _

_One word._

_DEAD. _

_Except for Luki, he's kind of forever alone._

_But Lenka, Neru, (Rosie-chan), and Kaiko are gonna kill these boys when I say this._

_Their Friday night outings aren't just a trip to the bar for drinks and guy talk. _

_Sure, maybe it's half that._

_But the bar….?_

_It's actually a strip club_

_Yup._

_Join me in laughing at them, you guys, while their girlfriends beat the living crap out of them._

_Before they even got out of the yard of our mansion, Luki was all, "Man, I can NOT wait to see some of those hottie girls again."_

_To which Mikuo replied, "I bet we've visited so often that they'll give us _you know _for free."_

_WHAT! HOW OFTEN DO THESE BOYS CHEAT ON THEIR SUPPOSED SWEETHEARTS? EVERY SINGLE FRIDAY NIGHT?!_

_I'm willing to bet they've gotten someone pregnant in all that time._

_Luki, you dirty, dirty boy. AND RINTO! I would've never expected such a terrible things from someone who loves to paint faces on oranges and sing "Dango Daikazoku." (Yes, that's what I learned from sticking a camera in his room and spying on him while Lenka was out. Manly, huh? What could you expect to come from a guy who wears hairclips, anyway?)_

_**Oliver.**_

_We all love a sexy blond boy. But let's face the facts, people. Not only does Captain No Shoes look a girl, but he also tends to act like one. And have you heard the kid's voice? _

_Not even Piko sounds so much like a 10 year old girl._

_Oliver. He's the kind of kid you wanna have some Tapioca with. Or…in his _English_ case, tea. He's funny, sweet, sensitive, great at causing amusing arguments, smells wonderful, good with pets, always there to lend a hand if you're hurt…every girl's dream boy. _

_But he does have a secret._

_Everyone has a secret. But just like everyone I've spied on for you guys, Oliver's deepest, darkest secret WILL BE SPILLED. _

_Allow me to explain._

_Not everybody has such bushy hair that's hidden beneath his swag-a-licious Captain's hat. Not everybody has such huge eyes of dreamy gold that could melt any girl's heart. Not everybody is as slender as he, nor do they have legs as smooth. Not everybody can show off such difficult dance moves like he can – you guys have seen his video with Len, Piko, and Ryuto, right? YouTube their names together; you'll find it._

_And trust me, not every boy will sing Tsukema Tsukeru. (And for those of you who can't translate or don't want to, it's about putting, putting, putting on your falsies.)_

_Now please don't hate me, Oliver fangirls. Hold your fangirl death beams and don't kill me yet. This isn't official._

_I'm just saying._

_Has anyone EVER seen Oliver and Olivia in the same room together?_

_**Kagamine Len.**_

_Len, Len, Len. You live in secrecy – in terror of being found out. Every day is like a new test – can you keep from being discovered while you go to Gumi's room, to Kuroneko's room, to – OOOOH. What's this I managed to discover? You visit Piko, too? _

_Is there something behind these meetings, Len? We all want to know. And we all expect you to tell us the truth. Because, the fact is, you're just a man-whore who's shaping all these girls into whores._

_(Yes, Piko, that includes you.)_

_Gumi is a great person, but since I've begun to spy on her, I've learned some naughty things about the girl. She's…not who she seems to be. _

_Kuroneko….? Well, I don't know what to say on her. Cat freak, tapioca lover, Len-obsessed chick – what's new? Nothing. _

_Anyways, Len, you are a dirty, dirty boy. You never left the Spice phase. You wish you did, because we all know how much you truly care about Rin._

_But when he and Rin have a fight – or she decides to be the man in the relationship – Len goes to whichever girl will take him in for a little 'stress-relief.' _

_(Let me tell you, things that have been heard cannot be unheard.)_

_I dunno, this is a very…difficult…subject to explain. It's not like I can sit here and write details on every single squeak and gasp and _noise _that I heard. I'm trying to keep this PG-13. Damn, I am soooo glad I decided to just bug him. I was gonna hide a secret camera on his clothes, but it's obvious that whatever I was to witness with that would've scarred me for life._

_Guys, that was the luckiest choice of my life._

_**Thoughts?**_

_Aside from spying, I need some kind of random segments to write for on here regularly. Because I think spying is gonna get difficult. They'll see it coming and be prepared. _

_I need something cool to do, like name a Vocaloid of the Week or something, in honor of some idiot who decided to do something hysterical, like shove carrots up Len's nose while he was asleep and take pictures. *cough*Gumiya*cough*_

_Or the one (KAITO) who thought it would be funny to trip Miku while she was wearing a skirt for a panty-flash….Oh, wait. All of the boys do that._

_It is pretty funny to watch her fall, I have to admit._

_Anyways, give me ideas on random segments or something, and I'll just continue to write some of the gossip and stuff that flies around the mansion. (Of course, most of it will probably be scandalous relationship crap. What else can you expect from a mansion full of teenagers – or in Teto's case, people who look like teenagers?_

_My next update will surely be more organized now that I've figured out how I'll be doing this. _

_Oh, yes. Lil Red's planning for great things._

_Please, leave comments, my little red Supporters!_

_~LilRed_

**9 comments**

**SexyShota: **I'll bet my life savings that she's Yuki.

**RinnyRinRin: (reply to SexyShota) **Yuki doesn't even know half of those words.

**SexyShota: (reply to RinnyRinRin) **That explains the whole "everyone's differentin private than in public."

**Frenchie: (reply to SexyShota) **Do you guys even believe a word of her LIES?

**SexyShota: (reply to Frenchie) **Sure do, y'old hag. ;P

**Frenchie: (reply to SexyShota) **SHE'S LYING, I TELL YOU!

**RinnyRinRin: (reply to Fenchie) **Shouldn't we be trying to get rid of her instead of gossiping about this? You'll make her feel like she's winning.

**SexyShota: (reply to RinnyRinRin) **Right. To Yuki's room!

**RinnyRinRin: (reply to SexyShota) **Oh by the way, Len…you're so screwed when I get my hands on you.


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